Though Wednesday was pretty difficult, Thursday (yesterday) was better. I didn't cry, and my mood was a little bit perkier. I'm still suspicious of these days when I feel more upbeat, but Dr. E says that by next week I should be having more and more of them, and my good moods won't feel like a "fluke."

As for my homework, I did something very small, but it felt really good. I took care of cleaning up all of the dishes after dinner. I put away all the leftovers, and washed and scrubbed the plates in my sink. Up until now, Mom has been doing these kinds of things since I've been largely helpless. It felt really good to take back this little chore - I felt a bit more like myself, and I felt more capable.

Also, I got a very sweet phone call from my friend Kerry, and she offered lots of kind thoughts and advice. She said one thing that has stuck with me, which is to reward myself for doing all my hard work. She asked if I was treating myself in any way, and I realized I hadn't really been doing anything like that. In some way my freedom, in and of itself, is a reward. It's such a magical feeling to be able, little by little, to get my life back.

But Kerry's right - I do need to reward myself. Some ideas that spring to mind are:

- Buying myself little presents from my Etsy wish list
- A yummy dessert
- A date with a friend
- Pretty fabric from Calico Corners
- A bottle of Champagne (when I'm allowed to drink again)
- Flowers
- DVDs of my favorite TV shows
- Visiting a new restaurant

It was kind of hard to think of ways to reward myself. That says something important, yes? I'll work on this more.